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The Sixth Sorrow

At the recommendation of a holy priest, I began saying seven Hail Mary’s daily while contemplating the Seven Sorrows of Mary. My birthday is on the Feast of Our Lady of Sorrows, a fact that bothered me in my youth and sometimes still does. I have, over the years, occasionally felt a great sense of beauty in that day being the day of my birth, but I also forget it’s magnitude as well. I was due on September 8th, the Nativity of Our Lady, and always wanted to share a birthday with her. For some profound reason yet to be determined by me, God asked my poor mother to wait one more week for my arrival. Since that decision was requested from Our Lord, I shall for my whole life, seek the meaning of His determination and have a devotion to Our Lady of Sorrows.
In an effort to follow the recommendation, I began my 7 Hail Mary’s in the evening. I set a timer to remind me at 8:30pm. The idea is that the children are in bed by then but that’s less a reality than I’d like. The first day I said my seven Hail Mary’s I forgot one of the sorrows. It was the Flight into Egypt. I hope I don’t forget it again as it would be quite difficult to up and away with your infant child in the middle of night before coffee and car seats were invented.

The Hazel Story

I’m going through pictures of The Hazel Story, finding birth photos and gassy smiles but I also have many of me pregnant with her. I remember each one rather painfully. I had a stroke (TIA) while in Texas for work at 11 weeks caused by a hole in my heart, which would need surgery to correct. Nine weeks later they told me she had Trisomy 18. I took thrice daily blood thinning shots into the stomach to keep me and her alive for the rest of my pregnancy. The anesthesiologist was kind when she said those shots were incompatible with an epidural. Au natural it is then.  Confusing Trisomy 18 with Down Syndrome, I worried not at all. I had way too many other things to worry about like my overly stressful job and my first two children.  The kind genetics counselor called me and explained what Trisomy 18 really was and I cried. And Darwin cried. (more…)

You’re Driving Me Crazy

117Take a moment to think about someone who drives you nuts. Not a little, but that person you’ve fantasized about snapping in half across your iron knee. Or stabbing them in the neck with a pencil. Oh come on. Don’t tell me it’s only me. Because I know it isn’t. It’s you too. Maybe your revenge of choice wasn’t quite so dramatic, but for some of us…I mean some ‘other’ people, it is. Maybe when you’re around this person you want to shrink down to nothing-size and hide under a leaf in the forest. Or perhaps you’re like me and you like to wear glasses when you know you’ll be facing this person, as you can drop them down your nose and be suddenly ‘blind’ which gives you a weird sense of safety. We all have irksome people in our lives. I actually do not have one right now, which is great, but it has certainly happened before.

Today, a friend was venting about just such a person in her life. Her complaints were so valid. Not communicating, listening, condescending behavior; the works. I happen to know said offender and don’t have the same experience or relationship with them but I was considering what kind of advice to offer. I didn’t have much really, but I reached really deep into my memory of the last time I was in this situation and what helped me. Here is a list to give you some perspective next time you cross Mr. PITA’s path. (Google that if you don’t know what it means. Or don’t. If you don’t know what it means, you’re innocent and shouldn’t.) (more…)

It’s Time to Stop Judging and Start Loving

Family Photo

It’s time to sit down and talk about how we are treating people. I have a lot of things in mind, from the Facebook comments on how someone should kill themselves for being fat, to the anonymous rudeness to a call center representative. It’s time to give peace a chance. (And no, I’m not a hippie.)

This time I am specifically talking about attacking other people’s parenting styles. Blog after blog, post after post, mom after mom after bleary eyed mom likes to tell other parents that they’re doing it wrong. The worst comment in the history of Facebook: “I would NEVER…”

It starts with Dr. Sears: Don’t spank your children. Let your children sleep with you until your next child comes and then gently scoot them into their own bed to welcome the new addition. It goes on to Dr. Ferber: Let your child self sooth and learn to sleep on their own. To Dr. EveryoneElseWhoProbablyHasANanny saying to feed your kids organic this and clothe them in organic that. Safety gadgets, baby gadgets, feeding tools and gadgets all in an effort to provide the most pioneer type diet with the best chances of stimulation and Mozart created IQs.

STOP! God gave your child to you. He gave your other children to your child. He gave your house, your food accessibility, your income and your loathing for Mozart to you, your child, and your child’s siblings. Guess what? That’s how it was meant to be.

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Happy Holi-days!!

I used to think that saying Happy Holidays was a nice way of including all the holidays into one saying; for example, ‘Happy Thanksgiving,’ ‘Merry Christmas,’ ‘Happy Hanukkah’ & ‘Happy New Year.’ I was an adult before I ever realized that this was not an all inclusive phrase, but an exclusive one. One to exclude Christ from Christmas.

Recent, though, it occurred to me to look up the origin of the word ‘holiday.’ We go on holiday if you’re British, and we celebrate holidays throughout they year. Most holidays aren’t around Christmastime, actually. We celebrate President’s Day, Labor Day, Memorial Day, Veteran’s Day, Thanksgiving Day, the Fourth of July, etc. Really, the ‘holidays’ does refer to the largest grouping – late November through New Year’s.

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